When you are looking for a love poem to offer or to savor yourself, don’t be troubled if you don’t agree with everything the poem says—or seems to be saying—about love. You can offer the whole poem but specify that it is the charm of a single apt phrase that made you share it.

The truth is, it’s better if the poem you share has parts that disturb you. Go ahead and pretend they don’t exist when you are giddy in love. The other parts of the poem will come in useful when a bad romance day hits us with its cricket bat of sadness.

By the same broken token, when choosing a poem for your own savoring, it is much better if the poem bothers you in spots. Those irritants change over time and remind you of your former selves in ways that are otherwise unlikely to happen. You can’t map a projection forward without charting a few plot points. Plot a few chart points.

All of the above is from The Wonder Paradox, the chapter on Love and choosing a single love poem as Your love poem. The paperback will be out on March 5, and the hardcover is on sale, nearly half off. Or try the audio! Running up to Valentine’s Day I intend to post on Love.

Thanks for reading.

—Jennifer