Why is romantic love so difficult? Perhaps it’s the paradoxes. I can’t solve them, but I can attempt to sketch them.

Why don’t you assign a rating, 0, 1, 2, or 3, for each of these, to indicate how much of an issue the particular love paradox is for you, personally.

The paradox of love is that it can be so intensely one-sided and can then switch sides.
The paradox of love is that it comes with strong feelings of “forever,” and yet, often after experiencing these feelings, we leave.
The paradox of love is that we want someone who fixes the wounds of youth, and yet we also fall for people who repeat those wounds and hence bring us to primordial passion.
The paradox of love is that it is so ethereal and generous and yet so deeply embodied and hungry; angelic and yet animal.
The paradox of love is that we know the ones we love, know them in a profound way, and yet we may lose the ability to see the way they appear to others.
The paradox of love is that it can be so fixated on a single person out of billions, even over a whole life, and yet for many people it happens with a few different people over a lifetime.
The paradox of love is that when a romance is over, even when you want the affair to end, your body may choose to grieve it most grievously.
The historic paradox of love is that in the history before modern times most people either had their spouse chosen by their parents or had choice, but it was limited by class and religion. You were always limited to the people you might possibly meet on foot, by travel, or connection. Until now, the problem of love has never been an abundance of choice. The paradox is that scarcity was a problem for love, and as it turns out, so is abundance.

If your number is sixteen or higher you are an intuitive, philosophical being with high love prospects. If your number is between fifteen and ten you know how to play the game, but you are above it, a prince among men. If your number is nine to five you are bright as a new penny but might want to look around a bit more. Those in the four to zero camp should see their counselor immediately.

Joking. The point of the numbers you gave these are to get a good look at what you are thinking and feeling now, and importantly, to come back to these paradoxes in a while and see if your concerns change and how static or dynamic are your feelings about love.

All of the above is from the Love chapter in The Wonder Paradox, which will be out in paper on March 5, and is on sale now in hardcover.